dancing

Oh, what place is this!
This place of freedom -
of sunlight on bare arms...
of stretch and bend, quick jumps and slow turns.

I love to dance.
Movement, under my control,
or led.

Weight transfers,
and balance,
breath and bend and stretch.

To dance is such a gift!

Today, as I moved -
stumbling yet graceful
across the kitchen floor,
I was content.

Sun streaming in,
pondering as I let my body move me
towards an understanding.

Sustained dancing requires more training,
more effort, and practice.

It requires strength,
yet flexibility,
dynamic balance
and graceful stillness.

Like an adventure, this dance,
this life, that I have been given requires strength -
to sustain the ongoing forward movement;
flexibility - to limit not the movement I so love; and
balance as I am propelled, in directions I do not always know.

Effort, but how worthwhile to be part of the dance!

so much more merciful

"Have mercy upon me, O God, according to Your loving kindness; according to the multitude of Your tender mercies, blot out my transgressions. Wash me throughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin. For I acknowledge my transgressions, and my sin is always before me." Psalm 51:1-3

God,
I thank You that You are so much more merciful than I am sinful. Thank you for the multitude of Your tender mercies. I know that I am sinful and that I disappoint, that I fall - so consistently. I thank you Lord, that it is not about what I can do or how good I can be, but about how much You love me, have made provision for me, are filled with tender mercy towards me. I barely understand, but I believe.

Thanksgiving by Malcolm Guite

Thanksgiving starts with thanks for mere survival,
Just to have made it through another year
With everyone still breathing. But we share
So much beyond the outer roads we travel;
Our interweavings on a deeper level,
The modes of life embodied souls can share,
The unguessed blessings of our being here,
Threads of connection no one can unravel.
So I give thanks for our deep coinherence,
Inwoven in the web of God's own grace,
Pulling us through the grave and gate of death.
I thank Him for the truth behind appearance,
I thank Him for His light in every face,
I thank Him for us all, with every breath.

Malcolm Guite
From "Sounding the Seasons".

no fear...

" ... to rescue us from the hand of our enemies, and to enable us to serve Him without fear in holiness and righteousness before Him all our days."

I have been reading, in Luke, a song of prophecy from a man who questioned an angel and was given a lengthy "time out". Zechariah, husband of the childless Elizabeth, was serving in the temple when an angel told him that he would have a son. This was a real man. An older man, who had had years of disappointments, years of waiting and hoping, of watching his wife feel disappointment and disgrace. A man who believed in God and was faithful. He was going through the motions, serving in the temple, a great honour, but was startled- was not expecting what, or rather who, came. And definitely not expecting the news he brought. A son! A son? Really?

"How can I be sure of this? I am an old man and my wife is well along in years."

I love these stories. I love God's mercy and His provision. I love that He hears and answers prayers of those of use who believe, but not always that God is going to do more than we could ask or imagine. He hears and answers the prayers of those of us who forget that God is a giver of good gifts. Those like me, who pray, but sometimes wonder if we should pray about something as worldly as a husband, or children, or health and healing, or provision of food, or money or clothes, or safety, or protection.

God, I am grateful that we did not receive a spirit that makes us slaves again to fear, but we received the Spirit of sonship. And by HIM we cry, "Abba, Father." The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. (Now if we are children, then we are heirs - heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in His sufferings in order that we may also share in His glory. ) Teach us Lord to be led by Your Spirit because we are Your children. Teach us not to be afraid to have desires, nor to surrender them to You. We acknowledge that our hearts are sometimes fearful for the things we do not have, but we surrender those to You. Knowing full well that only You meet our true desire, only You meet our needs. Be glorified in us Oh Lord. Your Kingdom come, Your will be done on earth as it is in Heaven. Amen.

Romans 8:15-17. Luke 2:11-20, 67-75.

vague prompts

I'm supposed to write a blog, but the notes I wrote to myself are:

"blog-cat-weddings-life-life-rubik cube"

I have no idea what that was about. I think there was supposed to be something about grace in there? Maybe about how sometimes cats and weddings and life give you ideas that seem obvious to blog about, but are a little too vague as prompts after the fact? That reminds me of the few times I've woken up from a dream that I really wanted to remember so have made notes on what ever piece of scrap paper was by my bed, only to find some incomprehensible scribble in the morning. Isn't it sad how sometimes we forget our best ideas?

Ok, here's what I probably wanted to tell you.

A) I got a cat. Well he's a kitten actually. His name is Mr. Wickham and I defy anybody to produce such a son-in-law. Also, when he's scared, instead of all his fur puffing up, just the hair over his spine puffs up- so that that he has a mohawk!

B) Sometimes we want weddings/life to be beautiful superficially; everything going exactly according to our plan. However, where then would there be room for grace? There is freedom and joy and treasure in allowing for unexpected blessings, for others being able to serve in love, and to be a part of the moments being formed, to have purpose and not just spectator seats in the midst of the memories being created.  Cherish the room God has given us and others to love each other in our imperfections.

C) Rubik cube situations in life are those instances that you try to figure out, arrange as neatly as you can, sort, and plan, and manipulate carefully to get everything lined up perfectly. Sometimes as intent as you are, you just can't make the colours line up. Sometimes, you sort everything out, and someone comes along and rearranges it so that they can solve it for themselves.

Ta-DA!

Also; did you know they operate on lions?

Re-Reading

I have been attempting, these last 8 months, to read the bible through. Reading the Old Testament was an accomplishment, as one might suspect. I did not expect though that I would have such trouble reading through the New Testament. There is so much! As slowly as I have been reading, I feel as though I am reading too fast, missing too much, not understanding enough.
Then two nights ago, I was lying in bed, reading (I'm finally in Mark!) too quickly because I wanted to go to shut my eyes and go to sleep and Mark 7:37 happened.

People were overwhelmed with amazement. "He has done everything well," they said. "He even makes the deaf hear and the mute speak."

I didn't retain very much of what I read that night, but that realization held me. "Yes!"my soul said, " You DO do ALL things WELL!"

Love songs

love songs and holds, music making
scripts written by the master creative director
adventures paced by heart beats
breathe in life, my dear, and be content
for you are loved