I've been a little distracted lately...
I think I will put it this way:
"As someone once said, 'No noise is so emphatic as one you are trying not to listen to.'"(C.S. Lewis, Prayer: Letters to Malcolm) There have been noises that that I have been trying to ignore, but in an unhelpful way. Noises about hopes that I have, and things that I want, and how wouldn't it be wonderful if this were that way, but I didn't have to do anything to make it happen. Sometimes you have to get up and turn off the noise. This is far easier said than done, but I am taking steps towards it.
Towards being content in the moments I have been given and not clinging to those. Steps towards using my gifts in the relationships that I have been given. Steps towards learning to keep moving forwards and relying fully on the fact that my God is not directionally challenged, and He's going to get me through these moments closer to Him and to where He knows we both want to be.
I was reading earlier a letter from C.S. Lewis' Prayer: Letters to Malcolm and this quotation stood out to me, since I have recently been doing a lot of remembering:
'And the joke, or tragedy, of it all is that these golden moments in the past, which are so tormenting if we erect them into a norm, are entirely nourishing, wholesome, and enchanting if we are content to accept them for what they are, for memories. Properly bedded down in a past which we do not miserably try to conjure back, they will send up exquisite growths. Leave the bulbs alone, and the new flowers will come up. Grub them up and hope, by fondling and sniffing, to get last year's blooms, and you will get nothing. "Unless a seed die..."'
So, I am letting go; of a lot of things. I'm giving up how I thought things should have gone, or still should go, of my expectations of what will happen, and how those things, (good things, that I am anticipating and trusting God for) will come about. I don't want a preconceived notion of what will happen to ruin the blessings that will come in God's good timing.
The Lord is not slow to fulfill His promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance. 2 Peter 3:9
God makes a promise.
Faith believes it.
Hope anticipates it.
Patience waits quietly for it.
