of fellowship and solitude

On fellowship and solitude Dietrich Bonhoeffer writes:

"Each by itself has profound pitfalls and perils. One who wants fellowship without solitude plunges into the void of words and feelings, and one who seeks solitude without fellowship perishes in the abyss of vanity, self-infatuation, and despair."

Here I find myself, once again, in a new place that has already held both joy and heartache. This is a real place, of both distasteful facades and pockets of surprising loveliness. I did again what I always do, figure out for God how I think things should work, what things should fall into place and what should not happen. And once again my Heavenly Father has reminded me that He does indeed know better than me.

I have yet to find that dynamic balance between fellowship and solitude. The loneliness of a new place is often not in the absence of people, but the required shallowness of wading into friendships and making wise connections gradually. The effort required in new relationships, the necessary time and exposure to meet a depth of trust, transparency and authenticity makes solitude both imperative and difficult.

Taking the time to be solo, and listening without impatience, I find more difficult at this time. It is perhaps a laziness brought on by the favorable report that one can give of having spent time with people, and the exhaustion that that sometimes results in. The lack of energy hindering a full and meaningful solitude which takes more effort than one might think.

Lord meet me in this place, centre me in Yourself.