Dear Joseph,
What an encouragement you have been to me this past week! Reading and savouring your story; promises of great and wonderful things followed by heartbreak and abandonment, slavery and false accusations, imprisonment and being disremembered.
This slow, seemingly hopeless, unfolding of history is full of real pain, real loss, real struggles. But then, to witness through the pages of your biography the victory that God had through you! Victory not just for yourself, or for your family, but also for the nation of Egypt! How God can use the real obstacles and situations in our lives for victory, not just for ourselves, but for His will to be done on earth as it is in heaven.
What triumph! What hope that brings me, and such encouragement to continue to press on and press in.
Thank you for being faithful to the God of your fathers, to your God.
Sincerely,
Kirstenski
Saturday, 12 January 2013
Sunday, 6 January 2013
a painful parable
One of the things I aspire to do in this new year is to learn how to cross country ski. You know those women? Those athletic, graceful, good at everything they try and make it look easy women? I am not one of those. I am tall and gangly, I often trip over my own feet, or run into doorways instead of walking through them. But I am an northern Ontarian now... and with this identity comes specific obligations. I feel that a minimal amount of outdoorsyness is required. So on Friday, I enlisted a wonderful and patient friend to walk me through the basics. I pulled on the boots, and felt that I at least looked the part, carried my rental skies across the terrain watching people of all ages gliding blissfully without a care or concern past me and onto the trail. They made it look easy. "I can do this!" I thought with enthusiasm. So I stepped into the first ski, slipped and wobbled a little, got my bearings, stepped into the second ski and started sliding backwards down the slope. My friend talked me through the essentials, I nodded bravely, not feeling nearly so confident now that my feet had elongated several feet in either direction and become both slippery and rather unruly. And away we went. Over hill and dale, (mostly hill) with me consistently wiping out at the bottom of each slope. Truthfully, I wanted to quit. Have you ever seen "A League of Their Own"? It's a baseball movie; Tom Hanks, Geena Davis, Madonna? Anyway, one of the ball players slides into home and gets this wicked huge multicoloured bruise. I have one of those - you might say it's in a league of its' own...
So there I was, out skiing, wanting to quit but having to keep getting up and moving forward. As much as I wanted to just sit in a snow bank, I couldn't. Life is like that. There are times when there are some pretty epic wipeouts, some pretty painful moments for your posterior, times when you'd rather not continue because you might fall again and that, as you have just experienced, will most likely be more painful than you care to endure. But we still have to keep moving forward.
There were, even in that short experience, also moments of triumph. The victory of not crashing at the bottom of a hill. The thrill of a good rhythm and glide (on the dale portion). The wonder of a silent and beautiful not too cold night. The blessing of a good travelling companion who encouraged me and waited with me and winced for me with each crash.
God is good, and He is worth travelling forward with. In this new year, let's not miss the victory moments because we're too afraid or too hurt or too stubborn to keep moving forward.
Hebrews 12:1-2 Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.
So there I was, out skiing, wanting to quit but having to keep getting up and moving forward. As much as I wanted to just sit in a snow bank, I couldn't. Life is like that. There are times when there are some pretty epic wipeouts, some pretty painful moments for your posterior, times when you'd rather not continue because you might fall again and that, as you have just experienced, will most likely be more painful than you care to endure. But we still have to keep moving forward.
There were, even in that short experience, also moments of triumph. The victory of not crashing at the bottom of a hill. The thrill of a good rhythm and glide (on the dale portion). The wonder of a silent and beautiful not too cold night. The blessing of a good travelling companion who encouraged me and waited with me and winced for me with each crash.
God is good, and He is worth travelling forward with. In this new year, let's not miss the victory moments because we're too afraid or too hurt or too stubborn to keep moving forward.
Hebrews 12:1-2 Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.
Psalm 2012
Oh LORD, my God and King; my faithful provider! You have brought me from the west to the east and back again. You order my steps even when I have no idea where I am going. You have directed and propelled me even, guiding and guarding me through sorrow and heartache. You have blessed me abundantly with friendships that keep my heart focused on You. Though I have failed and slipped, Your right hand steadies me and keeps me upright. You have spoken into my life through Your word and Your Spirit. You have encouraged me and lifted up my arms. You are teaching me to rely continuously on You, to pray without ceasing, to look to You for my hope. You have reminded me that in my weakness You are strong. You are my shelter, my refuge, my strong tower. Through You and in You I have victory and life abundant. Thank You that I am found in You. Thank You that You do not let me go. Thank You that You hem me in, behind and before, that there is no where that I can go from Your presence. I will look to You to be satisfied. I will wait on You, and follow where You lead.
Tuesday, 18 December 2012
Mission Statement
Daily, I choose to trust in God's Sovereignty and faithfulness, to reflect His grace and love, and to sing His praises, for He is good and I am His.
Words are important, they direct our lives, sometimes whether we mean them to or not. The words we don't say can have as devastating an effect as the words we do say, which is disconcerting to say the least.
These are the words I have chosen for this stage in my life. Words that remind me of purpose.
Daily seems a bit obvious, but why then is it so hard?
Choosing aligns my volition with that of my creators'.
Trusting is keeping my faith and hope and life in Him.
God is the author of my salvation, who does not change like shifting shadows.
Sovereignty is God's rulership and dominion over Heaven and earth.
Faithfulness is the keeping of His promises.
I can not produce love or grace on my own, can only reflect it as the moon reflects the sun.
Grace is that which is given which is far better than we deserve.
Love is a verb, requiring service and self sacrifice on my part.
Singing His praises is what I have been created to do.
God alone is good.
My identity is found in Him.
Words are important, they direct our lives, sometimes whether we mean them to or not. The words we don't say can have as devastating an effect as the words we do say, which is disconcerting to say the least.
These are the words I have chosen for this stage in my life. Words that remind me of purpose.
Daily seems a bit obvious, but why then is it so hard?
Choosing aligns my volition with that of my creators'.
Trusting is keeping my faith and hope and life in Him.
God is the author of my salvation, who does not change like shifting shadows.
Sovereignty is God's rulership and dominion over Heaven and earth.
Faithfulness is the keeping of His promises.
I can not produce love or grace on my own, can only reflect it as the moon reflects the sun.
Grace is that which is given which is far better than we deserve.
Love is a verb, requiring service and self sacrifice on my part.
Singing His praises is what I have been created to do.
God alone is good.
My identity is found in Him.
Monday, 10 September 2012
to obey is better than to be emisis
So, Jonah.
Now Jonah, he hears from God, crosses his arms and stomps off in the other direction. Gets on a boat, runs into a storm, gets tossed over board, swallowed by a large fish, and after three days is vomited up in the right direction.
I don't know about you, but this sort of story makes me want to be super careful about hearing and obeying God's voice. I don't need to be anybodies indigestion... or you know.
The words on my heart are:
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3 :5-6
I have also the inclination to be seeking first the kingdom of God, befriending faithfulness, and waiting.
So what does that mean?
A friend told me recently that it is better (in the context of dancing) to lead someone who will move with you, and a mentor suggested that ships are easier to steer when they are in motion than when they are still.
But how does that relate to being still and knowing that my Lord is God?
How to best be wise in this situation? How to trust and seek first the kingdom in this situation?
God alone knows.
I love the Lord, because He has heard my voice. Because He listens to my cries for mercy therefore I will call on Him all the days of my life. Ps 116:1-2
Now Jonah, he hears from God, crosses his arms and stomps off in the other direction. Gets on a boat, runs into a storm, gets tossed over board, swallowed by a large fish, and after three days is vomited up in the right direction.
I don't know about you, but this sort of story makes me want to be super careful about hearing and obeying God's voice. I don't need to be anybodies indigestion... or you know.
The words on my heart are:
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3 :5-6
I have also the inclination to be seeking first the kingdom of God, befriending faithfulness, and waiting.
So what does that mean?
A friend told me recently that it is better (in the context of dancing) to lead someone who will move with you, and a mentor suggested that ships are easier to steer when they are in motion than when they are still.
But how does that relate to being still and knowing that my Lord is God?
How to best be wise in this situation? How to trust and seek first the kingdom in this situation?
God alone knows.
I love the Lord, because He has heard my voice. Because He listens to my cries for mercy therefore I will call on Him all the days of my life. Ps 116:1-2
Monday, 20 August 2012
Rollercoaster belly.
Do you know what I mean by rollercoaster belly? That feeling of that which up until now was steady and stable has just dropped out from under me and I no longer know where I am in space...
it's like this:
============\
\
\
\
\
whoosh!
yes, exactly like that.
Life is certainly an adventure...
it's like this:
============\
\
\
\
\
whoosh!
yes, exactly like that.
Life is certainly an adventure...
Sunday, 10 June 2012
promised
I've been a little distracted lately...
I think I will put it this way:
"As someone once said, 'No noise is so emphatic as one you are trying not to listen to.'"(C.S. Lewis, Prayer: Letters to Malcolm) There have been noises that that I have been trying to ignore, but in an unhelpful way. Noises about hopes that I have, and things that I want, and how wouldn't it be wonderful if this were that way, but I didn't have to do anything to make it happen. Sometimes you have to get up and turn off the noise. This is far easier said than done, but I am taking steps towards it.
Towards being content in the moments I have been given and not clinging to those. Steps towards using my gifts in the relationships that I have been given. Steps towards learning to keep moving forwards and relying fully on the fact that my God is not directionally challenged, and He's going to get me through these moments closer to Him and to where He knows we both want to be.
I was reading earlier a letter from C.S. Lewis' Prayer: Letters to Malcolm and this quotation stood out to me, since I have recently been doing a lot of remembering:
'And the joke, or tragedy, of it all is that these golden moments in the past, which are so tormenting if we erect them into a norm, are entirely nourishing, wholesome, and enchanting if we are content to accept them for what they are, for memories. Properly bedded down in a past which we do not miserably try to conjure back, they will send up exquisite growths. Leave the bulbs alone, and the new flowers will come up. Grub them up and hope, by fondling and sniffing, to get last year's blooms, and you will get nothing. "Unless a seed die..."'
So, I am letting go; of a lot of things. I'm giving up how I thought things should have gone, or still should go, of my expectations of what will happen, and how those things, (good things, that I am anticipating and trusting God for) will come about. I don't want a preconceived notion of what will happen to ruin the blessings that will come in God's good timing.
The Lord is not slow to fulfill His promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance. 2 Peter 3:9
God makes a promise.
Faith believes it.
Hope anticipates it.
Patience waits quietly for it.
I think I will put it this way:
"As someone once said, 'No noise is so emphatic as one you are trying not to listen to.'"(C.S. Lewis, Prayer: Letters to Malcolm) There have been noises that that I have been trying to ignore, but in an unhelpful way. Noises about hopes that I have, and things that I want, and how wouldn't it be wonderful if this were that way, but I didn't have to do anything to make it happen. Sometimes you have to get up and turn off the noise. This is far easier said than done, but I am taking steps towards it.
Towards being content in the moments I have been given and not clinging to those. Steps towards using my gifts in the relationships that I have been given. Steps towards learning to keep moving forwards and relying fully on the fact that my God is not directionally challenged, and He's going to get me through these moments closer to Him and to where He knows we both want to be.
I was reading earlier a letter from C.S. Lewis' Prayer: Letters to Malcolm and this quotation stood out to me, since I have recently been doing a lot of remembering:
'And the joke, or tragedy, of it all is that these golden moments in the past, which are so tormenting if we erect them into a norm, are entirely nourishing, wholesome, and enchanting if we are content to accept them for what they are, for memories. Properly bedded down in a past which we do not miserably try to conjure back, they will send up exquisite growths. Leave the bulbs alone, and the new flowers will come up. Grub them up and hope, by fondling and sniffing, to get last year's blooms, and you will get nothing. "Unless a seed die..."'
So, I am letting go; of a lot of things. I'm giving up how I thought things should have gone, or still should go, of my expectations of what will happen, and how those things, (good things, that I am anticipating and trusting God for) will come about. I don't want a preconceived notion of what will happen to ruin the blessings that will come in God's good timing.
The Lord is not slow to fulfill His promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance. 2 Peter 3:9
God makes a promise.
Faith believes it.
Hope anticipates it.
Patience waits quietly for it.
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